Ugh

Life is grand, and yet... I feel like crying, and have resumed contemplating various ways in which one can kill oneself. Not a pleasant thing to contemplate, I understand, but I've been doing so all the same. To avoid thinking about such things, I've been resorting to getting lost in the world of fiction, but it's beginning to cease to help. I think I'm simply getting bored with life, at the age of 18. I keep having urges to go for walks, on my own, in the middle of the night. And not just around the house, but a good couple of miles. Walks that could easily get me killed. And the only thing stopping me from going on these walks is simple exhaustion, and not wanting to put forth the effort.