Torn Apart

I want to scream. Like nothing else, I just want to lose control of myself and scream, cry, kick, bite, swear, WHATEVER. But, NO. I can't. Why? Because everyone would be disappointed in me, and heaven forbid that I let someone down. I do what's expected of me, and I feel a little piece of me die inside, almost every time. I know, I shouldn't be trying to make everyone happy all the time, but I fell bad if I don't at least try. The disappointment of the others is awful when I don't do what they want me to. And now I'm stuck feeling shattered on the inside, because I'm doing so many things I'd really rather not do. None of it's bad for me, unless it's been proven that hairspray causes some sort of disease, but I still don't want to do it. And I'm sick of doing what everyone wants, just because I don't like their disappointment. It's tearing me apart from the inside, and I'm afraid that it won't stay inside for much longer...